Lessons from an aggressive dog

During our year of ministry in a rural community, one of the families we got to know quite well kept a dog tied up in their yard. The dog was there purely for security reasons (he wasn't named Tiger for nothing!) and lived his entire life on the end of a 10m rope with minimal contact with the family.

We had no pets and being starved for canine friendship, I would go and talk to him on our weekly visits to the home. Initially Tiger was incredibly aggressive and I would stand well out of reach as he snarled and snapped at me, and just speak softly. Over time he softened visibly, until the memorable day when he let me scratch his head. From that point on, every time we came to the house, Tiger would strain excitedly at his lead and drool spectacularly as I rubbbed his head. He loved the contact and seemed a different dog altogether to me.

This has been a really helpful picture for me to bear in mind when dealing with difficult people. Some people snarl and snap through no fault of their own - they have been on the end of a chain all their lives and have not been spoken to softly. Tiger's transformation is also a picture of the dramatic change that can take place in the lives of wounded people when we are willing to risk loving someone who has been written off.

Dad

It's nine years today since Dad died very suddenly from a stroke. We still miss him so much.

As I've been thinking about him I've been struck by the value of the African and Jewish attitude towards ancestors (not that we'll be a slaughtering a goat today - though if we did, the steaks would need to be very rare...). Because despite his absence, he remains actively present. In the first weeks and months after his death, he was never out of my thoughts; it's different now, but he continues to influence the way I see the world, what makes me laugh, how I tackle problems. Although I could have used his physical presence the other day when replacing some broken floor tiles...

He never met my wife or son, but he certainly has been an influencing presence in their lives too. Western Christians particularly are very twitchy about the role of ancestors in Africa, but I can relate to the ongoing presence of this ancestor of mine. And I understand why devout Jews would consistently root themselves in their significant ancestors. Even God identifies himself as 'the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob'.

I do miss him, but am grateful this morning for his presence. I don't think I could manage a Texan, but a Castle tonight would be nice.

Importunity

Jeremy Taylor has this to say about persisting in prayer:

"Easiness of desire is a great enemy of a good man's prayer. It must be an intent, zealous, busy, operative prayer. For consider what a huge indecency it is that a man should speak to God for a thing that he values not. Our prayers upbraid our spirits when we beg tamely for those things for which we ought to die".

Eugene Peterson writes how he bristles when, as a pastor, he is often asked to 'say a little prayer' to kick off some event. Taylor would feel the same way...

Addict

In a fit of enthusiasm (maybe to do with all the healthy resolutions one makes at this time of year) I have been drinking decaf coffee and Rooibos tea for the last few weeks. I've tried this before and was up for a couple of days of mild headaches, but this was different. The caffeine withdrawal symptoms presented themselves in all sorts of ways - headaches as expected, and then strange muscle and joint aches (we always described them as growing pains as kids) and what one website quaintly described as "fatigue incompatible with productivity". The same website suggested that irritability would be common and while I saw no evidence of this, my wife tactfully suggested that maybe they were onto something there.

All of these things disappeared within a couple of days, but they forced me to recognise that I have been an unconscious addict. My body was addicted to a substance that it was getting on a daily basis, and I was completely unaware of the hold it had over me. It made me wonder what else I may secretly be addicted to - what other things may have a hold over me that I am completely unaware of.

It's harder getting up in the mornings now, but I'm actually starting to enjoy Rooibos more (instead of just pretending to...)